Saturday, May 15, 2010


I really miss being an expat. I mean no disrespect toward my home nation, and I feel like it's kind of taboo to say, but I really enjoy living/being in countries not my own. It's been difficult being back in the way of community, because community among other expats is outstanding. I know being in Korea stressed me out and I was anxious to leave, but I always knew I'd miss the folks surrounding me there. I went from having this incredible support system, especially spiritually at Lifechurch, to virtually nothing. I have family and friend's here in So.Dak and I'm extremely greatful for them. However, I rarely see them. If I get 2 hours of communal spiritual nutrition a week, I'm doing well. Aside from spiritually, there's just this fantastic bond that occurs between expats that I really miss. And, I like things out of the ordinary, mundane, day-to-day existence that's kind of beating me down here.
I don't think I realized how big of an adjustment it was going to be being back. It's honestly been way harder re-adjusting here than it was upon arriving in Korea. I suppose it could have been something like a honeymoon period, though. The last few days, I've kind of forgotten how stressed out and anxious I was there.
I'm trying to be faithful by just hanging out here for the summer. I know God is working stuff out in my heart and in my life...but is it disobedient to start tossing out applications for other jobs. I've been pretty continuously looking at Youth Ministry jobs on the internet. There are a lot of them out there. Most of which pay quite a bit more than my current job that is making me insane. But I find myself hesitant. I've never been a youth pastor. I've worked with youth forever, but always in a supervisory setting where I've had to be more like their mom than a mentor. But I'm worried about getting stuck. For a long time, the only jobs I ever looked for were jobs just like the one I've been at in Sioux Falls since 2003...even though I've been burnt out on direct care for quite some time. I don't know how to do anything else and kind of feel trapped. I apply for youth ministry jobs to start in the fall? Or do I wait...keep working at Southeastern, hopefully do some stuff with Lifelight, and hope/turst that something comes my way in the fall?
Yeah....round in circles I go.

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