Tuesday, May 18, 2010


Recalibrating. That's what I termed my objective yesterday. I used the day to pray, fast, get some business type stuff done, and generally recenter myself. It felt good. It was so beautiful. I sat in the park and read and prayed and sat in silence.
I feel recentered. It's nice.
The word "simplicity" has been coming to mind lately. Last night, I met some friends in the park for a picnic. We sat, chatted, ate, watched the sun set. It was a really good time. It was simple. I've been praying for more simplicity in my life. Especially to be appreciative of the goodness of life. Spending time outdoors with good people, seeing a sunset, playing with a friends baby...these are really good things.
Then, today, was my first day as an "intern" for lifelight. I simply delivered posters to multiple churches around town for an up coming missions retreat the organization is putting on. I was ecstatic. Driving around, doing something related to ministry, something minute, and yet I was elated.
God's doing some massaging of my heart. Softening it. I still yearn to be overseas. I was feeling really good and then I saw a post on facebook from a friend that will be back in the US for some time later this summer, and I was slightly envious, because he'll get to go back to the country that he loves. So, it's still hard. I'm still surrendering. I'm not sure I'll ever be done surrendering. Maybe it's just a daily decision to surrender. Maybe (and more likely) even minute by minute.
One thing, I must say, and that is I'm so thankful. I have more peace about my present location, my heart is being softened, and I am less angry. It was a rough go of it for a while. It still is, occasionally. Again, often minute by minute I need reminders that the Lord is good...and he sends his peace. And I am thankful.

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